Sources of Stress in Divorce

Marital separation and divorce can be the most difficult times in an adult's life, but it doesn't have to be that way. By knowing more about where the stress is coming from, you will be better equipped for dealing with it. Experts identify the three main sources of divorce stress.

Reorganization of daily tasks and responsibilities
Divorce calls for a need to restructure the family. Reorganizing the way the family handles chores, finances, parenting roles, and relationships with extended family members and friends can cause great stress. One or both parents take on more responsibility with two homes and finances become stretched, often beyond their means. Parents trial and error their way through parenting the children and agreeing on how to do that can be quite difficult at times.

Loss of significant relationships and possessions
Not everyone divorcing experience loss with the same intensity, in the same way, or at the same time. Some feel the loss when they realize the relationship is ending. Others hang onto the hope that the relationship can be saved until the very end. While others, refuse to address the loss of the relationship and fixate on the loss of possessions and their rights to those possessions. This is all because without even realizing it, many become attached to a home, a certain way of life, the routines, daily access and contact with children and pets, and other details that are often taken for granted until they are no longer there.

Need to establish a new identity as an individual
When separating and divorcing, a need to redefine yourself as an individual is created. The role of wife and husband no longer exist. If children are involved, the label of "single parent" is now a part of your life. Financial needs may force some back to the work force after being a stay-at-home parent or even require a career change to generate a higher income to make up for the loss of a dual-income home.

The following is a list of common behavioral and emotional stress symptoms for divorcing individuals:
Behavioral changes:
crying,
withdrawal from others,
aggression,
substance misuse (drugs, alcohol,tobacco, food),
agitation,
exhaustion,
restlessness,
disrupted sleep,
other emotional changes,
sadness,
guilt,
depression,
anxiety,
tension,
irritability,
fear,
fatigue,
mood swings.

Thoughts and feelings related to stress:
thinking you cannot cope,
feeling frightened for an unknown reason,
worrying about everything, large or small,
feeling afraid that something bad will happen,
feeling that you are about to fall apart,
having the same worrisome thought over and over,
having a negative view of yourself,
having a negative view of the world,
feeling bored with everything,
being unable to concentrate,
having nightmares,
feeling helpless,
feeling hopeless,
feeling worthless,
feeling unable to make decisions